The Debaters

00:00 All your favorite CBC Podcasts are now available on YouTube. The best in award-winning true crime investigations, hilarious comedies, vibrant pop culture conversations, and even more audio series are all available on CBC Podcasts' YouTube channel. You'll also find exclusive video first episodes, YouTube shorts, and behind-the-scenes content from our hosts and producers that you can't find anywhere else. So if YouTube is your go-to source for podcasts, just search CBC Podcasts and hit subscribe, and you'll never miss the latest updates. 00:30 This is a CBC Podcast. 00:37 Hey, Canada! Things just got real. From Winnipeg, the city whose slogan is made from what's real, it's The Debaters! The Debaters, where comedians fight with facts and funny, and this audience picks the winner. Now here's a man who's made from what's funny... 01:01 Hey, thanks, Graham. 01:05 Hello, Canada. Welcome back to The Debaters. We're back in our birthplace of Winnipeg. Winnipeg, Manitoba. 01:16 A city that rules. 01:21 I couldn't even keep you with me that far. 01:25 Speaking of rules, there is a debate raging here about a proposal to decrease the residential speed limit around town. 01:34 See, I'm not making it up, don't get mad at me. According to a poll, the majority of people here don't want the default speed limit lowered from 50 to 40. 01:47 I get it, you don't want the pace of life here to become slower. 01:57 Besides, the city already has an extensive array of speed-regulating devices known in Latin as colliculus maximus, or big potholes. 02:09 Time now to meet two debaters who are top drivers of fact and funny. This comic's last-minute impulse to attach spikes to the heels of his cowboy boots was a real spur-of-the-moment decision. It's New Brunswick's James Mullinger! Yay! 02:26 James Mullinger, there he is. 02:30 He looks bright and ready for this one. 02:34 And this comic only photographs fields of wheat, barley, and corn because he says they're the easiest photos to crop. 02:42 It's Toronto's Hisham Kaladi. 02:46 Hisham, back with us. 02:52 Debaters, your topic is one that's sure to be moving for all of us. 02:57 Moving back in with your parents. 03:00 Is that a good idea? It's impossible to tell who's for this. 03:10 I have friends whose adult children have moved back in with them, and it's great that they can offer that support. My experience leaving home was somewhat different. 03:20 My Irish dad bought me an oversized sectional couch for my 18th birthday. 03:27 When I said, Dad, this won't fit in my room, he replied, I know it won't, Stephen. 03:33 It's time to move out. 03:36 So, it's time for a debate that will have many happy returns. Whereas living costs have skyrocketed, wages are stagnant, and the support of family is invaluable, be it resolved, adult children moving back in with their parents is a good idea. James, you are arguing for this, please. You have two minutes. Starting now, James Mullinger. 04:04 Ladies and gentlemen, in this economy, moving home isn't admitting failure. It's about embracing being someone's little boy again. LAUGHTER And at 48 years old, who wouldn't want that? LAUGHTER I mean, living back at home, I feel like I've won the lottery. Free food, free heating, and all I have to do in return is listen to some fairly problematic, unsolicited racist opinions. LAUGHTER I mean, I love my mum's baking and hugs and my dad's withering looks. 04:47 I went from having roommates I hated to roommates who mated. If you didn't like that, strap in. 05:00 I knew that I was truly back home when I opened the fridge and said, there's nothing to eat. 05:11 Moving back in with your parents isn't failure anymore. It's just rent control with emotional consequences. 05:20 This is not regression, this is evolution. Humans lived in multi-generational homes for thousands of years. I didn't move back home. I'm supervising my inheritance. 05:31 LAUGHTER 05:39 In a world where everything makes less sense, going home is the one thing that still does. Thank you. 05:46 All right. 05:48 James Mullinger, ladies and gentlemen. 05:53 Don't get too excited, James, but you're in the lead so far. 05:59 Now, here to change that famous quote, you can never go home again, to you should never go home again, let's hear from Hisham Kaladi. Thank you. 06:13 Wonderful people of Winnipeg, I come to you today not with feelings, but with cold, hard, ruthless facts. 06:25 the Canadian Medical Association published a paper that concluded the high level of emotional stress Boomer and Gen X parents put on their kids can reduce their child's lifespan by up to seven years. 06:45 You guys took all our jobs, all our houses, and now all our years. 06:54 They also found that 70, 70% of family combativeness, drama, and grudges are due exclusively to the parents. 07:09 If you don't like science, let me share my lived experience. 07:14 During the first summer of the COVID lockdown, I moved back with my mom for the first time in 20 years. 07:22 And within the first 20 minutes, I remembered why I left. 07:29 My mom would wake me up every day at 6 a.m. so I would be ready for my 9.30 a.m. office job, which was work from home. 07:44 She is the world's worst alarm clock because you can't hit snooze or she hits back and hard. 07:56 At one point, she threw out all of my clothes and replaced it with clothes that she liked better. 08:05 She is not a fashionista. She is a thousand-year-old African whose entire wardrobe is clothes from Zellers from the 90s. 08:20 One of the worst fights we had was when I had to spend three hours trying to convince her that an AI-generated video of a cat converting to Islam was not real. 08:42 She kept saying, he's Meow-slam! 08:51 The only way I managed the three months that I lived there with her was to secretly put CBD oil into the coffee maker. 09:07 One laced morning coffee a day keeps my mother's nagging at bay. 09:14 Thank you. I've been Hisham Kaladi. 09:20 Yeah. 09:22 Hishab Kaladi coming at this one pretty hard. He is against moving back with parents. He came out swinging with facts. And then your mom said, meowslum. And I just got one question. Does she want a job writing on this show? Because that's pretty good. Hishab Kaladi, everybody. 09:42 We got ourselves a debate. 09:46 Time for the Bare Knuckle Round. We're debating moving back in with your parents, so here are the house rules. Bring your opponent to their progenies and show them the true meaning of debasement, leaving them with a feeling of empty nest. 10:06 Many are called, but curfew are chosen. 10:11 So let's bring this debate back home, starting now. 10:19 I mean, I'm English, so moving back home just meant repressing things and moving closer to the source. It's a rent-free existence that costs you everything else. But who doesn't want a sequel to childhood but much more depressing? 10:36 Yes, who doesn't want a dark, gritty, scary reboot of their childhood? 10:44 James Mullinger and the prisoner of his parents' house. 10:48 Home, but never alone. 10:56 And my favorite, the nightmare before, during, and after Christmas. 11:04 Living with your parents as an adult is like living with nosy landlords who snoop through your things, don't respect your boundaries, and share childhood trauma they committed against you for fun as an anecdote during dinner. 11:27 Yes, I mean, maybe they... 11:28 Thank you. Thank you. 11:32 Thank you. Thank you. They'll concede that. 11:36 They don't respect boundaries, but they do respect leftovers. 11:42 Look, getting lucky used to mean sex. Now it just means a full fry-up every morning. 11:48 Listen, you may not be having sex, but your parents definitely will be. 11:57 I think I'm gonna call it right there. That's the bare knuckle round, everybody. 12:08 It is time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on moving back in with your parents, brought to you by Jesus. 12:19 His stepdad, Joseph, was very surprised when he came back home that first Easter weekend. 12:29 Some advantages to moving back home, according to DebtSolutions.ca, include saving money on food and rent, clearing your debt faster, and what else? James. 12:40 Finally understanding why my childhood dog ran away. 12:43 Not what I have here, but it feels real. One point. Hisham Kaladi. 12:49 Finding your old Pokemon cards that you may be able to sell to afford rent for your own place. 12:57 Interesting. 12:58 Good guess, but no. According to debtsolutions.ca, the advantages of moving back home include saving money on food, clearing your debt faster, and having people to hang out with. 13:15 Friendship? That's what it is? Friendship? The people at debtsolutions.ca are lonely people. 13:24 Bumble.com's guide to dating when you live with your parents recommends asking your parents what question? Hisham. 13:33 Do you have noise-cancelling headphones? 13:41 Ew, two points. 13:47 James Mullinger. Essentially the same thing. When I say I need privacy, could you please not reply for what? 13:58 You know what? It's not that far from the actual answer. Bumble.com says dating when you live with your parents recommends asking them, hey, I'm dating and would like some privacy. Any ideas on how we can make that work? 14:17 I'll tell you what my dad would have replied. Yes, get your own damn house. 14:22 That's the firing line, everybody. 14:25 All right. 14:28 It is almost time for our fabulous Jubilee Place Theater audience to place their votes. But first, here again, reminding us that people who move back home just get his back up. Let's hear it one more time from Hisham Kaladi. 14:45 There is literally an entire genre of books about moving back in with your parents, and these are the top three. 14:55 Adult children living with emotionally immature parents. 15:00 Forgiving our parents forgiving ourselves. And finally, getting past what you'll never get over. 15:14 Oh yeah! Sounds like a great summer read, guys! 15:19 I will conclude with this little experiment. 15:23 Clear your minds. Take a deep breath and answer my prompt as quickly as you can. 15:31 Clap right now if you're willing to move in with your parents. 15:34 Exactly. Dead silence. 15:37 I rest my case, Your Honor. 15:39 Thank you. I've been Hisham Kaladi, and I'm right. 15:44 Hisham Kaladi. 15:46 All right. 15:48 Now here speaking as the prodigal son who returns to his room. Let's hear again from James Mullinger. 16:00 In conclusion, moving back in with your parents is not a step backwards. It's a step towards survival and free snacks. 16:09 I'm a comedian. Moving back in with my parents wasn't failure. It's career development. 16:16 LAUGHTER 16:24 It saves money, it strengthens families, and most importantly, it finally gives your parents the chance to say, I told you so. 16:35 So move home, because if you can't afford the dream, you might as well enjoy the basement. Thank you. 16:42 All right. 16:44 James Mullinger, making a strong argument on behalf of of moving back home. Hisham is the exact opposite. It's time to vote. How many of you consider James to be our return homeboy? James Mullinger. 17:00 Okay. 17:01 All right. James just found his people here. 17:04 And how many of you agree with Hisham that the thought of returning home to live with parents returns your stomach? Hisham Kaladi. Thank you. 17:12 All right. This is pretty conclusive. The winner is Hesom Kaladi. Do not move back home with your parents. Big hand for Hesom and James Mullinger, everybody. 17:28 Hey, debaters listeners. Well, there's no debating it. We'd love it if you could hit the follow button on our podcast. That way you won't miss an episode. And if you already follow us, thank you. 17:41 What if I told you that most of history's underwear wasn't remotely close to the underwear you're wearing right now? Hi, I'm Greg Jenner, host of the You're Dead to Me podcast, and we're back with a brand new season. And if you're a fan of fashion trends of the past, you'll love our newest episode on the history of underwear. We explore how our underwear has changed throughout history and whether TV depictions of Regency-era ladies in their lacy underwear are truly accurate. Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts. 18:14 Hey Winnipeg, are you ready to meet your next pair of debaters? 18:21 This is going to be a good one. 18:24 When this comic performed at a craft brewers convention, she had them rolling in the ales. It's Winnipeg's Lara Rae! 18:33 Laura Ray, one of our very favorites, back with us again. 18:41 And this comic once went on a date to see Planet of the Apes with the gorilla his dreams. It's Elmwood's Bruce Clarke. 18:49 Bruce Clarke, everybody. There he is, the handsome and dashing Bruce Clarke. 18:56 Hello. 18:59 Your topic is one that we think will be a free-for-all, coupons. 19:06 Is there anything better? 19:09 Full disclosure, I rarely use coupons, except for the ones my daughters make for me when there's something that they really, really want me to buy for them. 19:18 They'll make up offers like free doing of dishes or 20% off whining in the car. 19:26 But unfortunately, every single time I try to redeem one, I'm told they've just expired. 19:32 It's not a joke. 19:35 I'm sincerely hoping CBC Marketplace hears this and starts an investigation. 19:41 All right, time now for a debate that we think will go on at a good clip. So, whereas they're an easy and efficient way for businesses to attract customers and for shoppers to save money, be it resolved, nothing beats a coupon. Lara, you are arguing for this, please. You have two minutes. Starting now, Lara Ray. 20:03 Thank you. 20:04 Over time... 20:06 People from many nations have come to these shores. My people, not transgender people, I mean the Scots, along with the Irish, Ukrainians, Mennonites, and the diaspora Jews, all immigrated here, committed to a new life and to never paying retail. 20:31 These nations were called the Axis of Frugal. 20:37 Relax, I'll get to the French. 20:41 The word coupon is from the French to cut a piece off. 20:48 The word coupon was introduced by Thomas Cook, the travel agent, in the 1900s to entice people to visit places they wouldn't otherwise, like Winnipeg. 21:05 Here in Winnipeg, We had the book of gold, and everyone wanted this treasure. 21:13 Gold, in this case, was a 900-page book of tear-out coupons. 21:20 Remember? Yeah. 21:22 Oh, man. Yeah, it was the best. You remember when the Scottish shop turned 25 years old, they had a coupon to mark the occasion, 25 cents off any purchase. 21:38 But alas, coupons are only great as long as the company you deal with honors them. 21:46 And that way, they're like treaties. 21:51 Yeah. 21:52 As much as I can't honor my Bay Day coupons anymore, at least the Hudson Bay Company didn't take my house. Thank you. 22:03 Lara Ray. Lara Ray, take a bow. Thank you. 22:07 Thank you, Laura. 22:11 Now, here to tell anyone who insists on clipping coupons to just cut it out already, let's hear from Bruce Clarke. 22:23 Well, this is going to be fun. 22:26 I'm in Winnipeg, arguing against coupons. 22:35 I might as well argue that the Jets suck. 22:39 Oh, sorry, that's a bad analogy, really. 22:43 Maybe next year. 22:45 Coupon en Francais does mean cut a little off. 22:49 But in English, I have a coupon translates to I have no pride. 22:59 Nothing beats a coupon. You know what beats a coupon? Beating the shopkeeper and taking whatever you want. 23:11 You'll notice there's never coupons for things that people need, like affordable housing or prostitutes. 23:22 I'll give you a coupon. 23:33 Coupons are for losers. 23:36 Imagine ladies giving a text. Hey, babe, how'd you like to go for some wings? 23:42 Meet me at Smitty's between three and five. 23:50 Tuesdays only. 23:55 Some restrictions may apply. 24:01 The hoi polloi have been convinced that coupons are a way for hard-working people to save money, but they are actually a capitalist tactic to further disenfranchise the proletariat. 24:15 You think Karl Marx ever used the coupon? 24:19 I've known Lara for 30 years, maybe more. When I come to town, we often go to dinner. And who do you think pays? 24:29 Me! 24:31 Does she bring a coupon? No! 24:37 She's a fraud. 24:45 And like most coupons, Lara herself is attractive at first. 24:53 But in the long run, costs far more than advertised. 25:02 Bruce Clarke. 25:04 Wow. Bruce Clarke. Throwing down. 25:09 All right. We got ourselves a good one. Time now for the bare knuckle round. We're debating coupons. So I want you two to really make discount. 25:22 Now is the time to fight flyer with flyer. 25:28 Start clipping off at each other and see who can deal with it. 25:33 Make sure your jokes don't go bargain up the wrong tree, or the audience's laughter could be up to 40% off. 25:42 We have to begin, so get ready, set, bo-go, starting now. 25:47 We have known each other for four decades almost. When you went to Montreal to have your gender reassignment surgery, did you use a coupon? 26:01 Here's the punchline. 26:04 We're in Canada, so you all paid for it. 26:16 Coupons really cheapen things. I mean, that's why there's no coupons for things like the symphony and the opera. 26:22 No, this is actually, this is classist, and this is actually, this has been proven by data. People, you can reduce the prices and give coupons at the theater. It's that the rich patrons, who also go, don't want to sit with the haup a lot. That's why they keep the prices high. Exactly. 26:43 Why should I pay to go to the ballet and have some loser steal my wallet while I'm trying to sleep? 26:51 All right, that's the bare knuckle round, everybody. 26:54 We are debating coupons on the debaters, and it's time now for the firing line. In my hand, I have a list of questions on coupons brought to you by Oprah's Book Club Coupons. 27:08 Oprah's Book Club Coupons. Buy one, get win free. 27:16 Psychology Today says coupons aren't always great. Sometimes they can make you what? 27:22 Bruce. Participate in a pointless debate. 27:31 All right, all right. 27:35 The audience has given you one, but I have to say minus one for disparaging the show, so it's a net zero. 27:42 Laura? Is it buy a subscription to Psychology Today? 27:50 That's a good answer. The actual answer is buy stuff you don't need, so full point. 27:57 Canadian Tire Money has been called the most successful loyalty program in Canadian history. What's the name of the Scottish man who appears on the bills? Bruce Clarke. 28:07 I thought the most successful Canadian loyalty program was Crossing the Floor. 28:14 That's a good one. That's it. 28:19 Nope, the name of the Scottish man who appears on the Canadian Tire Money is Sandy McTire. 28:29 Name the TLC reality show that featured shoppers who make extensive use of coupons to save money while accumulating large quantities of goods. 28:39 Lara. Oh, yeah, that's the Price is Harderite. 28:43 That's a good answer. That's a good answer. I'll give that a point. The price is not right. 28:50 The actual answer is extreme couponing. Extreme couponing. 28:56 What is the name of the Instagram account that helps Winnipeggers find coupons, sales, and app-related deals? 29:04 Lara? CheapLikeBorscht.com 29:10 We'll give one point for that. Bruce Clark. 29:12 I'm 65. I don't know what Instagram is. 29:15 Okay. 29:21 The Instagram account that helps Winnipeggers find coupons, sales, and app-related deals is 204Couponing. 29:28 If you're interested. 29:31 That's the firing line, everybody. 29:36 All right. 29:39 It's almost that magical time for our Jubilee Place Theatre to place their votes. But first, here to tell anyone trying to convince him to use coupons to save money, they're better off saving their breath. It's Bruce Clarke! 29:55 This debate is about choices. Life-wasting choices. 30:01 My opponent, Lara, voluntarily moved from Toronto to Winnipeg. Talk about transitioning. 30:10 Lara grew up in snobby Toronto, where it's actually illegal to use coupons. 30:16 It's just a time waster. Nobody's going to be on their deathbed. Oh, over the course of my life, I spent thousands of hours scouring newspapers and magazines that I saved to $38.27. 30:31 I can die happy. 30:34 Say no to coupons and say yes to me. 30:36 There you go. 30:41 Bruce Clarke giving a full price closing argument. Now, here to tell us why simply using a coupon to save sense makes sense to her, it's Lara Ray. 30:52 Thank you. 30:55 What is this debate but an example of a great deal? Instead of hearing one of Canada's greatest comedians, you hear one and a half. 31:09 As co-founder of this comedy festival, I want to tell you that coupons were a saving grace in the early days of the festival. And I have way more to add, actually, but the Mennonites who run this hall said we could get 25% off if we're out by five, so I'm just going to wrap up. Thank you very much. 31:32 Lara Rae! That is... 31:35 I've been hosting this show for 20 years. That's the shortest closing argument by Lara Ray. I'll guarantee you that. 31:43 It is time to vote. Who agreed with Lara that when it comes to fiscal responsibility, coupons are just a ticket? Lara Ray! Woo! 31:51 A lot of love for Lara. 31:57 Okay. 31:58 And how many of you agreed with Bruce after hearing him totally discount the use of coupons? Bruce Clarke. 32:06 Pretty close. 32:11 Pretty close. It's so close. 32:13 This one's going by just a hair to Bruce Clark. The winner is Bruce Clark. 32:19 Big hand for Bruce Clark and Lara Rae, everybody. Well, that's all for this week. I'm Steve Patterson saying to all you deal redeemers, coupon, coupon on. I'll argue with you again soon, Canada. Good night. Good night. 32:36 The Debaters is created by Richard Seid. This week's episode was produced by Nicole Callender, Chloe Edbrook, Dean Jenkinson, and Graham Clark. With continuity by Graham Clark, Diana Francis, and Gary Jones. Technical production by James Perella and Mae McKillop. Story editing by Gary Jones. With special thanks to Katie Ellen Humphries, David Pride, and Emily Ferrier. Executive producer of CBC Radio Comedy is Lee Pitts. And thanks to everyone at the Jubilee Place Theatre and the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. 33:07 For more CBC Podcasts, go to cbc.ca slash podcasts.