THE SAVAGE NATION

00:06 And now, the world's most exciting podcast, The Savage Nation. Home of borders, language, culture. Here he is, Michael Savage. 00:20 Welcome to The Savage Nation. 00:23 And today's show is entitled Mallorca 1965. It's summertime. People are traveling, hot dogs, whatever. 00:30 I don't go anywhere. I don't like going anywhere. I found out a long time ago that travelers... 00:36 about the most exhausting thing I can do. I've done so much of it in my life. 00:41 I did it when I was young, a lot of it. 00:44 And I know all the political nightmares that we're going through right now, and I know where this is going. I'll save it for another day. I can see where this country is heading. 00:53 Unless certain people are arrested and deported, we'll have naked communism in this country within your lifetime, as sure as I'm sitting here. But I don't want to do that today. I just want to go backwards in time. I'm going to take you on a trip with me to Mallorca 1965. 01:10 And this is from my autobiography called A Savage Life, which, yes, I found it is still available, strangely enough. 01:19 And there is a story in here entitled An American Gangster in Spain, which tells the story that I'm going to tell you. 01:28 Mallorca 1965, an American gangster in Spain. Okay. 01:33 So if you're in the mood for a story today, settle back. 01:37 Light up a blunt. 01:40 It's too early for that. Not really. For those of you who have nothing else to do, you can smoke, you can drink, you can drink water, you can be on a treadmill. 01:48 I'm just going to tell you about a time in America that led me to Spain in 1965. And when I... 01:56 had an interchange with an American gangster who was exiled there who couldn't go back to America. I believe he's dead by now. If he isn't, I'm dead. 02:05 And it's a true story. Take it for what it is. 02:10 It's not a matter of whether it would be a good movie or not. It's irrelevant whether it would be a good movie. There's a lot of things that would be good movies, but no one's making them. 02:18 Everyone's a star behind their bars, is what I said to you many times, meaning how many bars you have. You could be a star with this now. You're the producer, director, writer, and actor. 02:28 So the content is endless. 02:31 People have endless content to turn to, don't they? 02:35 So therefore, I'm going to give you my content, which is called a chapter in my life. 02:42 And I will begin where I began. I may cut pieces out because I wouldn't write the story the same way that I wrote it then. In fact, I'm going to put the book down for a moment and tell you a conversation I had with a friend today who was visiting me two weeks ago. And was sitting on my deck observing the birds. You know, I like to look at animals, birds, seals, fish as they fly over the bay. 03:11 And I said to my friend, I said, look at those birds. I said, the natural state of all living creatures is near starvation. 03:20 Whether it is a virus or an elephant, basically all animals, unless they're domesticated and fed in a cage, are looking for food all the time. That's the natural state of wild animals is near starvation. 03:37 So when we arrive at a place in human history where we have not only enough food but too much food, we replace this urge to search for food with a search for sex. That's the next thing that occurs, which is why the West is in decline, because all the West does is obsess on sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. 04:01 That's all it does. 04:03 Sex obsession has replaced food obsession. And of course, health obsession is a form of starvation as well. You're not healthy enough, you're not good looking enough, you're not muscular enough, you're this and that. So, okay, near starvation, natural state of all human creatures, from the virus to the elephant. What does it have to do with Mallorca in 1965? Because... 04:27 Success is a stale finale, as Eugene O'Neill wrote, which I learned when I was 18. 04:34 Success is a stale finale. The search is the success. 04:39 So my whole life I've been a searcher. 04:42 I've always been a searcher. 04:44 So having laid the groundwork for that particular story, I'm going to read the story and change it as I go along. 04:53 The first respectable middle-class bum I met was a soon-to-be high school principal from Brooklyn who smoked dope, danced a mambo like a Cuban, had lots of women, and walked with a minstrel smile at all times. Very dark-skinned for a Caucasian and with thick lips and curly hair, he was the Hebraic male version of Abraham's wife Sarah, said to be comely and black. 05:16 That's a complicated sentence. It's very hard for the anti-Semites to grab onto that one. 05:20 They haven't read that anyway. They don't know how to turn it into something against Jews and Zionism. I'm sure they'll work on it. Send it to Tucker or Nicky or Candy, the half-breed, and see what they come up with. 05:31 Anyway, Donnie had just come back from a very faraway place where the wine women in Danzons were said to flow as freely as in Impressionist Paris days. 05:46 I right then decided to go there that summer, or as soon as I could afford it, I'd go to Spain and get over to Mallorca. 05:53 It was a converted troop ship, the MV Waterman, that carried my friend Marty and me on our pilgrimage to Donnie's Paradise Island. 06:02 Two years it took me to save up for that trip. 06:05 When we first escaped our moorings, with deep foghorn vibrations not matched by today's jet wine, all of my past seemed to slip beneath my feet. 06:15 This was going somewhere. 06:19 The last person in my family to ride a ship was my father on his immigrant journey to America. 06:24 Turning around on the stern, drunk with Marty and a couple of hundred other budget-minded travelers, and feeling New York's west side recede us in a dream, I knew I'd cut the umbilical cord for good. 06:36 Out to sea and seated for my first meal, I knew the next 10 days would be bad news for food. 06:43 Cheap German food served by surly waiters not older than you, does not make for an appetizing prospect. 06:50 So I took to sneaking into the first class lounge each night and heaping the tasty little sandwiches into my raincoat. 06:57 Those ham and other cold cut sandwiches beat the sauerkraut and potato soups served in our class, but also served to make me impotent just when I met my first international beauty. 07:08 She was coveted by all the boys, tall, pale, rarely smiling. Karen was the daughter of some World Bank executive, grew up in Swiss and English boarding schools. She was the dream of every working-class would-be poet on that tub. 07:23 The first guy to win her attention was Andrew, a tall, ugly screwball, who imitated the French existentialists by throwing potato salad at ship lecturers. 07:32 After five days of this brilliant joker, we took up together. Slowly at first, she telling me she liked me because of the way I walked. 07:40 Something about my feet hitting the ground in a positive, assertive way. She told me in a Paris hotel room weeks later. 07:47 It was all innocent hugging and kissing on the Waterman for us. I pretended to respect her too much to proceed, but in reality, I couldn't get excited in the right part of my body. My heart would pound, my thoughts would swirl, my weight lifted arms would nearly crush her breathless. but the right thing was not being transmitted below my waist. Years later, I would learn this bout of so-called impotence was directly related to the ham sandwiches I was filching from the first-class lounge. Not as a result of guilt for my transgressions, but due to the sodium nitrates and nitrites the ham was laced with. 08:24 While these preservatives killed off would-be bacterial colonizers, they also killed a man's ability where desire was not lacking. 08:32 In sufficient amounts, the nitrates are used to quiet libido. It is rumored that in the military, they gave the stuff in the potassium form to the boys and called it saltpeter. 08:43 Now, who would have guessed that a good old ham sandwich or other preserved meats, bologna, sausage, hot dogs, will ruin whatever good fortune may bring your way during your travels? 08:54 Should you be eating some of these preserved meats three times a day while also lacking phospholipids necessary for sperm production, a simple dietary adjustment could render years of psychoanalysis into the redundant torture that it is. 09:08 You've got to be careful when traveling. To know what to eat and what to avoid must not become a full-time obsession. But you don't want to end up in a garret with the bells of Notre Dame Cathedral trolling, white high heels askew on the floor, next to a hastily open lady's suitcase, lying there in a sweat trying to explain away your failure. 09:29 Karen was understanding, and she did come all the way from London to be with me after all. But not knowing about the nitrate family and their vicious habits once inside the human, we began to blame ourselves for this unignitable passion. 09:43 As the days went by and my diet of good French food drove away the German ham and white bread, I returned to that state of vigor common to 20-year-olds. The romance, once in flame, burned on for a week or two in a magical Paris I've never, ever known since. 09:59 Then the long-legged pale beauty went north. I went south. Not to meet again except by chance in the mouth of a London underground tube years later. 10:10 About to descend the steps with my wife of two weeks, Karen was ascending arguing with a decadent looking long hair. Our faces met. We were startled to bump into each other so unexpectedly years later. 10:23 I looked healthier than I had during those days in Paris, fuller of myself, stronger in my step, while she was emaciated, almost pimply. We said a few words, quickly parted, and never saw each other again. 10:34 But on that first big trip to Europe, I did get to Donnie's fabled Mallorca, the Paradise Island. 10:41 The food was so unlike New York, the land and the people somehow so much more alive, that I stayed on, missing the next semester, to sample all that the poets had promised. 10:54 Well, that's the first chapter of an American gangster in Spain. I think I'm going to pause. I don't know if I want to continue the story right now. 11:02 I'm not sure. Do you want me to continue? 11:06 Michael Savage, a host like no other. 11:13 Let's go up to the top. 11:16 And I'll continue the story another time. I thought that was a very good beginning, by the way. No one would admit that that happened to them, number one, and they would admit why it happened. You know, in the age of Viagra today, no one even has that problem anymore, which is why it's basically all false sex. I mean, if you're using these products like Viagra, Levitra, or whatever, it's fake sex. 11:41 I mean, if you're not into it, you're not into it. 11:43 So why fake it? I don't understand it. 11:46 The women know you're faking it. That's why most women are frustrated, because they know you don't love them. 11:52 You agree with me? So, in other words, avoid stealing food from the first-class lounge if you're on a cheap ship. It doesn't exist anymore. It was an old troop ship for students, studentship. But I found that years later, it was the nitrites in the ham, honest to God, because the minute I stopped eating that garbage, everything came back the way it should be as a 20-year-old. 12:12 If you want to tell a good story, I'm going to ask you for the nun's trunk. That is a good story, the nun's trunk. I'm not going to do it now. What a head of hair I had, right? Are you kidding on that Vespa? 12:23 Right. Mop head. 12:26 Michael Savage, what a treat. We see you on YouTube. Good, good. 12:30 So, yeah, nice sport coat, a white sport coat and a pink carnation. 12:35 We're living in very exhausting times. 12:39 Most people I know are very exhausted from the politics. 12:44 They're worn out. 12:46 They don't know which way this is going to end, this little drama that we're in. 12:51 They sense it's going to end very badly. They sense that everything they've worked for their whole life will be taken away from them by the coming Dr. Zhivago-esque wave that we are living through. 13:05 Man who has been telling stories, writing stories, doing politics, doing nutrition, collecting plants, painting bad pictures, writing poetry, publishing books, I thought I would do a little live broadcast for you today and not pay too much attention to the politics, right? 13:26 I'd like to read out a phone number to you now and have you call, but I'm no longer in the radio business. 13:33 And I noticed something today that is kind of disturbing in a way. 13:40 Yesterday was this LGBTQ parade stuff, which we always have to see every year. It's like gay month or something. And then it's gay day in the midst of gay month. 13:50 Et cetera. OK, so on, you know, so boring, like I'm so not interested in a person's sexual behavior, to be honest with you. So it dawned on me that we're living in the age of unreason. I was going to do a whole broadcast called The Age of Unreason, where all stable social categories and norms such as reason. 14:11 are modalities of oppression from which we must be liberated according to so-called queer theory which is why so many of these fat ugly disgusting perverts are acting out in the streets because they believe that reason itself and order is a form of oppression that's how sick these people are and i noticed something happened over the weekend we have a psycho here named this guy Wiener, W-I-E-N-E-R, not like mine named W-E-I-N-E-R. And he is a really bad character. 14:45 He is a bad, not because he's gay. I could care less what he does with his Schmendrick and other body parts because he's a left-wing scumbag of the lowest order. He's the bastard, this Wiener in San Francisco, who wants to take... 15:00 Illegal aliens, bums, and moved them into nice middle-class neighborhoods to destroy property values for the sake of communism. He's a really bad piece of shite. 15:10 But he got his comeuppance the other day. I think it was yesterday. He went to a gay parade in his hometown of San Francisco. 15:18 And the trans, it was a trans parade, they shunned him, chased him out of the park. 15:23 So this piece of shite ran out of the park in tears because he was attacked by the trannies. Now here's a guy who's been a sexual, a gay sexual guy all his life, pushed his sexuality down everyone's throat, became a state senator now he's running to replace pelosi's fetid seat and he got chased away by trans people so i said to me i said to myself wait a minute trans is the new gay next will be bestiality then child molesters then cannibalism each with its own holiday and supported by the dsa dnc and nea i think it's a pretty keen observation don't you Oh, I don't know. 16:05 If you follow me, maybe it's too cool for the room, as a friend of mine would say, probably 10 steps ahead of too many people watching me right now. They just want entertainment. 16:13 But that's what happened, you know. 16:15 So if you have no more questions, I think I'm through with the Mallorca story, Mallorca 1965. 16:22 What would you like me to hear? How do these nitrates affect women? That's an interesting, I don't know. 16:27 I don't know if they eat too much sausage and ham and bacon, they become like I don't know. Does it affect women with libido? I don't really know. I have no idea. I'm not affected by that problem in this age. I've got to tell you the truth. Take it for what it is. 16:42 I've watched my diet my whole life, and I don't want to get too graphic, but let's put it to you this way. Those things don't go away if you're strong and healthy inside here and here, period. End of story. 16:57 Every morning. Every morning, there he is, Jimmy the Problem. 17:01 Every morning, I wake up to him, and he talks to me every morning. 17:06 So, I mean, I could do a whole book on this subject, but what's the point, right? 17:11 It happens. It happens. It happens. Most men lose their libido at, I don't know how, 50, 60. 17:17 They can't get a bender anymore, and then they get embarrassed, and they start taking the pills. 17:24 It doesn't really help because they know it's fake. 17:28 So, but I thought I'd share that to you. 17:33 The Savage Nation. It's savage on demand. 17:40 And now I'm ready for part two. Yeah, part two. 17:45 Palma de Mallorca, 1966. Christmas Day in Shotzi's Bar. 17:50 I've been there since the summer. 17:52 I dropped out of school. I was now a regular among the expats, mainly English retirees living on pensions playing at art. 18:01 The eggy taste of Advocat, a creamy yellow alcoholic slammer, was fashionable in the Mediterranean port bar. 18:09 One thing I liked about those English writers, they just drank without a wink, devoid of cute American names for their addiction. 18:17 In Alabama, I once learned the craziest name for a drink. It was called Slow Screw Against the Wall. Vodka and 7-Up. 18:26 These were glowingly taught to me by a group of very sweet Alabamian college girls welcoming me to the Huntsville airport for a lecture I was giving the next day. I swear I'm remembering this now. So again, another season of too much alcohol and of the wrong kind and tasty but suicidal food. Years would pass before I learned that diet was somehow related to my mood and performance and which to prescribe and prescribe for myself and others. 18:52 Anyway, going back to Shotzi. 18:55 Wiry and friendly, he took a liking to me. He owned the bar. One rainy and windy afternoon after I had motor scooted in the seven kilos from Arenal, a beach town where I had an apartment, he told me to get off the island. 19:09 Kid, he whispered, his eyes screwed up behind a smoke cloud, get out of here, off this island fast. 19:14 I was shocked, thought the crowd liked me. Why, what did you mean? Look, you're young, all I want from you, he said, lifting a shoulder. 19:22 in the general direction of the others in that smoky bar is your money and your woman. Stunned, I looked around that tank full of human fish. 19:31 Were these angels and guppies really piranhas beneath the sceptive markings? 19:36 Over there, At the end of the mahogany counter, his legs twisted over one another like a rubber man, and Ichabod Crane, a drunken grin radiating from his fixed jaw, was a famous English poet little known beyond that grave circle. 19:53 It could not be him, he was too drunk and too kind, all the time collapsed on the bench along the right wall after cursing out some old lady who dared say Merry Christmas. 20:03 Mike was a loudmouth Irish novelist whose latest had just appeared as a movie. His pretty kindly wife and their three-month-old baby were like a quiet painting next to him. She nursing the infant while her husband slept off his latest drunk in the bar. I thought to myself, definitely not them. 20:21 Too honest. 20:23 Well, the Americans in the bar, sure, highly suspect, and therefore, no threat. That left only one person who could be out to get me. That was Max, the ex-mob boss on the run who I thought had befriended me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The more I thought about him, the more I began to believe Shotzi. 20:40 Listen, I know this doesn't seem real to you, but I tell you, you're in danger, said Shotzi. My eyebrows arched, and he ordered a free advocate for me. 20:48 Max Rochman first attracted my attention because of his heavy New York accent. 20:54 As I thought about it, it was Carla who was first drawn to him. 20:57 I remember her saying with that teehee little giggle of hers, you remind me of my father. Then I thought, oh, that little. 21:05 He had us up to his place after that first night. His Spanish maid, a quiet old lady, cooked an authentic spread. 21:12 Brought over by successive waves of colonizers, the Arabs, Berbers, and Moors, fruits are so prevalent that they accompany most courses. We began with local wine soaked in sangria, the fruits coming from Maxi's own trees. Standing on the stone terrace and eyes wandering up to Arenal Palace, I felt very much at home. 21:32 Little did I know. His lousy record player was turning the memory years, 1925 to 1950, as the stocky old tough spluttered on about his wild days. Well, what harm would it do for me to drink his wine and his food? Little did I know he was after my money and my wife. 21:49 Chomping on my first boar with potatoes, B-O-A-R, that could be a double on Chandra. Chomping on my first boar with potatoes and artichokes, I listened to the old guy reminisce. 22:00 He sees me smirking and jumps up. Here, you don't believe me? And he rummages through some old photo albums, his maid looking on from the archway with a sad knowing look. Headline. 22:12 King of the hobos has penny rail pass. Travels only first class. He is shaking hands with railroad officials. 22:20 Next picture, two dark-haired sisters, one on each side of Max in a nightclub. Took them both home for four days. Next, Max smiling in an auto showroom, shaking hands with a happy salesman who just sold him a Jaguar Mark 5 and the Jaguar XK120. 22:37 A good time, kid, but my wife got mad when I didn't come home back home after nine months. 22:43 So we eat the paella Valenciana, all the seafood fresh from then clean bays. The phono spins off speed. 22:51 Over flat and coffee, he worked himself up to his true confession. 22:56 A small news article tells us about his first murder, two boys in a train yard. 23:03 Then with a flourish, a letter from then New York Mayor Bob Wagner inquiring about Max's recent operation. He looks at me and says, I got friends, kid. The books, record suits, coats, shoes. I sneak a peek into his closets on the way to the bathroom. 23:18 All from friends, quote unquote. Some items delivered by visiting U.S. warships. If we are to believe this old crook. 23:26 What happened? He says to me, I can't go back. That's all, kid. It's all over for now. 23:31 The memory years spinning off speed. Too much, kid. I was too young. 23:36 But this story came to a bad end. This story came to a very bad end, though not quite at that dinner party. I must have known that good old Maxie was fiddling with my girl because days later, I decided to get past his housemaid and snoop around his flat to find material for a story I decided to write about him. I went into his house, I knocked on his door, and I talked my way in. Against the maid's pleading and unbelieving eyes, I talked my way around her objections, saying that Max had given me permission to reread his scrapbook. 24:08 I don't remember what I found, but I did invade the man's privacy and was nearly killed as a result. 24:13 Served me right, I suppose, but I guess Max had a shred of compassion left inside somewhere. Days after Shotzi gave me that warning to get off the island, I would see Max everywhere I went. If I was sitting in a restaurant or a cafe, wherever I would be, there would be Max at another table staring at me or visibly pointing me out to some of the notorious Guardia Seville we had heard would kill men for $50. That was the going fee. 24:41 That was it. I got the message. Shotzi was right. I left. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot to mention what kept him in prison in his little bar. 24:52 He told me that on the day he warned me to leave and start a life for myself while I was still young, he told me this. He said, this is Shotzi now. He said, me? 25:01 I can't go anywhere, he told me. His melancholic puppy eyes wet with emotion of smoke. Michael, it was my big night. I was lead dancer in London's biggest ballet. The performance was on. It was my call. I froze in the wings. 25:17 I was finished. Here I am forever. 25:21 That's the whole story. It's pretty damn good. It's called A Gangster in Spain, and I'm calling it today Mallorca 1965 from my autobiography, A Savage Life. 25:34 I hope you've enjoyed the story. There are others in here that I may read you over this summer, if I feel like it. I will other days. I mean, summertime is storytelling time for me. 25:46 Maybe next I will read The Nun's Trunk or Hagira from New York, Kenny's from Beethoven. A real long one is A Speculator in a Garden of Numbers. I love that story. 25:58 My Silent Brother is Too Sad, I'll Never Read It Again. 26:02 The fly in a tuna is okay. Tough high school geometry teacher. Two fingers on his right hand. 26:08 Woodchuck Bill. 26:12 Sam the Butcher, Coney Island wax figures, Louie and his monkey. 26:17 I think that's about it. There's some pretty good stories in here. The death of Pat Snowy story. When pasta was spaghetti. I wrote it about that time. 26:26 Talking to a bum about God. The knockout. That's a good story, the knockout. 26:33 God's Warriors. I'm going to look at the knockout myself. Remember I added it to the book for this version, the knockout. It's pretty damn good. 26:42 I'm not going to read it. It's too sad in a way. 26:45 He was flattened before he was born. He didn't have a chance. That's pretty good. It's good. I meant to be a writer when I was young, and I succeeded. How about you trolls? Have you succeeded at what you wanted to do? 26:58 Work at it a little bit more and stop trolling. You're wasting your time. We only eliminate you anyway. Thanks for listening. If you like what you see and you see what you like, subscribe to Mike. I'm Michael Savage of the Savage Nation. 27:17 Well, thank you very much for listening to today's podcast. I hope you've enjoyed it and learned something from it. We have about 400 other episodes available for you to listen to absolutely free. You can go back into our vast library of podcasts and listen to any one of them at any time. Again, thank you for your listenership. This is Michael Savage.